Posts Tagged ‘Political Humor’

The Genie

Thursday, March 22, 2012 posted by Martin
Greeting Stones Inspirational Collection

A Greeting Stone

Last night, I went down to the basement to clean up.  Among our things was an old dusty  lamp that I started to throw out.  But  then I decided to clean it up and sell it on EBAY.  As I was dusting it off, a genie appeared and  said, “Master, I grant you one wish for getting me out of this old  lamp.”

I thought  about it and decided if I get only one wish, it should be something really  important.  So I responded,  “Look at  this globe.  This is the Middle East.  It is a hotbed of turmoil.  My wish is that you create peace in the  Middle East forever, and the world will be a safer place.”

The genie responded, “It is true that I am a  genie and can do amazing things.  But  what you ask is very difficult, even for me.   How about some wealth and riches.  I can do that easily.”

After much thought, I said,  “I’ll tell you  what.  How about seeing to it that our  elected officials get together and stop fighting.  How about getting them to listen to the people  and passing a balanced budget and reducing the country’s debt.”  The genie looked at me and said,  “Let me take  another look at that globe.”

A Congress that does not listen to the folks might be as hard as rock, but not as pretty as a personalized engraved corporate gift stone.

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The Politicians

Sunday, March 18, 2012 posted by Martin
Greeting Stone

Inspirational Stones by Greeting Stones

In this political season, this is great party joke.  Change the names of the Presidents to fit your political persuasion.

One day, 3 former Presidents decided to get together on a humanitarian mission.  Unfortunately, their plane went down mid way and they died instantly.  They get to the Pearly gates and St. Peter asks, “Who are you?”

The first says, “I am George Bush, and I was President of the United  States.”  St. Peter says, “Go down the hall, go into Room #l and close the door behind you.”

The next says, “I am Bill Clinton, and I was President of the United  States.”  St. Peter says, “Go down the hall, go into Room #2 and close the door behind you.”

The third says, ”I am Jimmy Carter, and I was President of the United States.”  St. Peter says, “Go down the hall, go into Room #3 and close the door behind you.”

Bush goes into Room #!, closes the door and hears the electronic bolt lock the door.  In front of him is an 800 pound gorilla getting ready to attack him.  He looks up at the ceiling and hears a voice saying, “George Bush, you have sinned and will spend eternity with this gorilla.”

Clinton goes into Room #2, closes the door and hears the electronic bolt lock the door.  In front of him is an 800 pound fire  breathing dragon getting ready to attack him.  He looks up at the ceiling and hears a voice saying, “Bill Clinton, you have sinned and will spend eternity with this dragon.”

Carter goes into Room #3, closes the door and hears the electronic bolt lock the door.  In front of him is a sparsely clad Paris Hilton.  He looks up at the ceiling and hears a voice saying, “Paris Hilton, you have sinned…”

The moral of the story is:  When you’re between the rock and the hard place, choose an engraved rock.  It’s safer.

 

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